Ray J & 'Em

Y’all know I am a reality tv junkie, right?

So it shouldn’t come as a surprise when I say that I thought Ray J was dumb as hell for letting go of Jaguar this past Monday on his television show For The Love of Ray J.

I mean can you blame her for not wanting to kiss him? He’s at least kissing EVERYBODY. At the very least kissing. Lol

Jaguar’s at least got some morals and didn’t want to put herself out there on national tv.

To me she was keeping it all the way real.  Let’s be honest: She wasn’t in love with him. He wasn’t in love with her.

What kind of message is being sent when a girl with morals can’t get a B-list celebrity?

She should get a round of applause for not stooping to anything to win Ray J’s Hoe of the Season Award.

Jaguar was smart in that she could get a recording contract and date anyone in the industry with out a blemish on her reputation.

So who does he have left?

Nobody. Except maybe Mz. Berry. I guess she would be my next pick. I think she deserves better than Ray J but since she’s on the show, I guess she should win.

I know Ray J supposedly has this “chemistry” with Flossy but she seems to be more like his freak of the week than a potential girlfriend.

I am done complaining but since I know you care about what I think, here the folks on my bottom three:

Extra- is a no. She’s just weird to me. She’s just sliding through the cracks because other people just happen to mess up before elimination. 

Exotica- Let’s get R-E-A-L her attitude is effed up. I can hardly understand her (and I do try) but what she does say is mean and petty.

Heartbreaker- is hideous looking and she tries to be a wannabe Cocktail. I didn’t like Cocktail and I definitely don’t like Heartbreaker.

If you’re following the show let me know who you think will win…

For the Love of ChaChing Bling

I decided this week I want to add investigative reporting to my list of know-hows. I’ve always wanted my work to impact people, change lives, and open doors to the impossible.  Not to mention it’s much more fun reporting on scandals and corruption when you’ve done your homework and KNOW you’re right.  I never wanted to be that reporter who regurgitates what other reporters are writing about or be overly concerned about competing with the Washington Post or the New York Times when breaking national stories.

Basically, I am learning how to become a professional snoop for the greater good of the public.

At some level all reporters should be detectives from a far.  If you’re reporting on a congressman you should have the skills to find out everything you can whether that is interviewing a myriad of people, checking vital records, scanning court documents or always having a pending FOIA request.

 I just do not want to work for someone for the rest of my life. I want establish myself as a credible source of news, start my own website and take news to the next level.  I believe in branding myself.  I don’t want a publication to own me, and  leave my livelihood in someone else hands.

I want to be different.  I want to live up to my full potential. I want to live my stand:

I stand for breaking down barriers and walls to create possibility in the lives of others.

My dreams are big. I am the woman who strives to be the Oprah of online journalism. I see the future a little differently. Like Russell Simmons said, it starts with a vision then taking hold of it and seeing it to the end.

I once told someone about my goals in life and they kind of laughed.  I was taken aback for a half a second, like, eh yo, did he just laugh? Then I laughed too, because obviously he didn’t know whom he was talking to.

I dream the impossible because in the impossible is a wealth of possibility.

How far am I willing to go? I decided that I am willing to live with the prospect of never getting married or having a family for the sake of my career.  HUGE statement I know, but I feel like I was placed here to complete some unknown mission. I am striving for something.

One day, when I am sitting in my 18^th Floor office, watching my secretary who has the body of a quarterback and a face of Adonis feed my tiny dog name Cha Ching Bling, it shall all be worth it.

Back To Black

I am writing a lot but I am not really writing at all. I consistently doubt my abilities again and again and again. I am always afraid of making a mistake. I am always afraid of getting something wrong. Then I remember that I am here for a reason and that I will succeed. That cheers me up until the next assignment is due and then I am sad all over again.

Is this what being a writer is about? Recognizing your flaws, over and over again. I want to command my words and be sure of myself and know everything about journalism now. I am not learning fast enough to catch my mistakes before they happen. I am growing but in a world where mistakes can cost you a lot and the stakes are high how do you not fail?

I learned that my commas are wrong and that I editorialize sometimes. I can’t presume anything but I can’t tell the real difference between presumption and writing with authority. I read the Washington Post and they write one way, but I am being taught to write another way. I am trying to find my flaws.

What I want to know is how do you know that you’re wrong before you make a mistake? I am tired of being scared to write real words. Saying the wrong thing is too much. How do I get better? How do I stop feeling so freakin’ behind? How do I stop feeling like everyone else is making it? 

I am not doing poorly, but I am not excelling. I want to excel, and it’s killing me that I stay up, work so hard and still do mediocre work.

Sigh. Sometimes blogging is the only way to free my mind. I say I’ll do it more and I don’t. Until next time, peace.

My Awesome Dentist & Oral Surgeon.

Like any other person, I was not excited about visiting the dentist.


Recently however, I was introduced to a dental office, and oral surgeon who have change my views on health care, and patient/doctor relationships forever. For the first time in my life, I feel like I have met dentists and dental surgeons who sincerely care.

Growing up I was exposed to more half-ass dental offices than one can possibly stand. Over crowded rooms and extra long waiting periods, only to be seen by a dentist who cares more about your coverage than your health.

The sad part is, most of us accept this as acceptable because we don’t know what it is like to be treated better. We should be expect to be seen on time. We should expect to have a dentist who cares. We should expect a comfortable environment.

Most importantly, I am tired of feeling like dentist are trying to get over on their patients. For example, I went to one dentist who told me I had six cavities. After seeing my new dentist, I learned I only had two cavities. TMI I know, but I can’t shake the feeling that the first dentist made up the cavities with the hopes of getting more money.

In any case, I was referred by a beloved coworker to: Dr Kenneth Mizono, DDS Mizono & Kobayashi Family Dentistry
730 Kains Ave
(between Portland Ave & Washington Ave)
Albany, CA 94706
(510) 525-2899

Every thing I could have ever wanted in a dental office was there. Everyone from the front desk staff to Sharon who cleaned my teeth were helpful and supportive. My wait time was nonexistent. The small waiting area wasn’t crowded. She took their time cleaning my teeth thoroughly. I didn’t feel rushed. Sharon was honest about the health of my teeth and took really great care of me.

After reviewing my x-rays it was clear I needed all my wisdom teeth pulled. Sharon sent me to an angel disguised as an oral surgeon: Dr. Bloom
Berkeley Oral Surgery
(http://www.berkeleyoralsurgery.com/splash/splash.html).

Dr. Bloom has a heart of gold and has changed the way I view the world and helping people. I’ve always lived by the code “treat people the way you want to be treated” but, Dr. Bloom taught me how kindness, honesty, generosity, and being open are perhaps the most important traits a person could possess. Not to mention he’s an EXCELLENT Surgeon, check his resume on the website.

I may truly be the only person in the world who is excited about having all four wisdom teeth pulled. I am looking forward to it.

I trust my dentist.
I trust his staff.
I trust my oral surgeon.

I’ve determined that I am never going to another dental office again. When I visit the Bay Area twice per year (because I have friends here) I will also be sure to set up my dental appointments as well.

I LOVE MY Dentist, and Oral Surgeon. Yelp all of the names above, read the reviews and you will see I am NOT alone.

This is not free advertisement. I’ve never felt THIS full of love for dentistry ever. They have my stamp of eternal approval.

Randomishness on a Wine Night

This week has been rather difficult. I decided to get rid of one of my closest friends for the sake of my own personal well being. Sometimes you have to clean and rearrange the clutter to make space for the new things to come into your life, so I did. I sat listening as Amy crooned “my tears dry on their own,” silently willing the droplets back into my sockets. My mood is sorta in between buying a tub of Baskin & Robbins or going to the gym and taking it out on the Stairmaster. In due time, and due process things will be better. I know it shall be.

In other news… CONGRATS to all the new mommies. I feel like my prayers of someone-else-having-a-baby-so-I-can-have-an-excuse-to-buy-baby-stuff was answered. I’ve got three babies to spoil in some way, shape, or form. Welcome class of 2027 and 2028! Is it too soon to think about their high school graduation? It doesn’t matter, they are all going to UC Berkeley for college. We can never have too many Blue and Gold Bears.

I have a bit of advice for the Mommies, buy “The Places You Will Go” by Dr. Seuss and read it to your baby every night until they are 50. I still read the book-when I am stressed or need answers and it always helps.

I miss my cousin. She’s been in and out of the hospital for the past few months and I haven’t talked to her. I can’t visit her because I am here in the Bay, she’s in L.A. I used to talk to her every single day, and now, never. I need her, I relied on her support through out every moment in my life. She’s the wind beneath my wings. I feel empty with out her, like a void that can’t be filled with something else.

New Blogs, Videos. I decided that starting in July, I am going to start a series of vlogs and written blogs to help people get through the graduate school application process this year. I could write whole books with the stuff I know and I would like to help others get into the programs of their choice. I’ll discuss the GRE’s, statement of purpose, personal statements, and letters of recommendation. We’ll talk about different options whether to apply for the part-time or full-time programs, Ph.ds vs. Masters, and experience vs. none. Good idea? Send

I’ll post the first few here and then finish a separate blog on the subject.

In any case, you’ll see more blogs from me now. I’ve been wanting to write, but haven’t been able to lately.

Debt Free in DC...

In my last post, I wrote this illustrious blog about attending Columbia and achieving my dreams. Indeed, I visited the school, fell in love with the program, the city and the people, etc. I was all set to go, until I received an e-mail from the University of Maryland- College Park, offering me a full ride.

While everyone else was happy for me, and saying “Girl, You got good problems,” I was emotional wreck. Columbia is my dream school, but it also comes with a 70K price tag on top of my undergraduate loans which, together, would average out at about 100k and that is not including interest.

Is the program worth 70K? Yep. The School administers the freakin’ Pulitzer Prize. The Alumni network is a beast. The actual program is standard, up to date and on point. NYC is their laboratory, and some of the best and brightest in the field walk through their doors regularly. (sigh)

However, there are some pretty heavy negatives simply because of the price tag.
1) Journalist in general start out making 30-40k, maybe 45k with a masters and experience. The median salary for a person with 10-15 years of experience is around 50 k. Thus, I will have that loan for the rest of my life.
2) Journalism is a field where you don’t “need” a masters degree to get into the field, it’s all about your talent and network. There is a large chance that I could go to Columbia and end up in a field other than journalism, simply because I have to pay back this huge debt.

Furthermore, the University of Maryland isn’t bad.
1) Free ride means, I don’t have to worry about how I am going to eat, pay rent, etc.
2) I don’t have to work which leaves time for internships, networking and study time.
3) When I graduate, I can take a low paying job to get experience with out worrying about the debt.
4) My boss is friends with the President of the University. Only great things can come of it. Lol
5) I am really talented so I can thrive at any school, especially Maryland because I am debt free.
6) To be in DC, during the Obama administration!!!! Super, Super, Super cool. lol

This week I had to make a big girl decision. Choosing between what I need vs want. For a week straight, I did everything I could to try to leverage Maryland for Columbia and they weren’t having it. Endowments are down, and this economy has done a number on everyone including our distinguished educational establishments.

Then I took a poll and overwhelmingly, everyone said “Go to Maryland.” Grudgingly, I agree.

Sigh… Looks like I’ll be debt free in D.C. (((SMILE)))

A Dream Conferred

Like many of the students who come in my office daily, I come from humble beginnings. I am the oldest of five children, and eleven grandchildren. I carry the weight of more than just me.

And I ain't sayin' we was from the projects
But everytime I want it, layaway or a deposit
My dad'll say "When you see clothes close your eyelids"
~"Champion," K.West, The Graduation

As a result I have had to work tirelessly, to achieve my dreams and expand my possibilities of making them happen.

You see, if you ever wanted to ever be anything
There'd always be somebody that shoot down any dream
~"Bring Me Down," K.West, Late Registration

So many times, I have been told to give up my dream of becoming a leading journalist and settle at this job of mine. My family flipped out when I decided not to major in a science and instead pursue a career in journalism. I was told I was dumb, and I was criticized for choosing a career that would lead to no where. I love the field but have had a difficult time breaking in.

But they're gonna have to take my life 'fore they take my drive
'cause when I was barely living, that's what kept me alive
Just the thought that maybe it could be better than what we at at this time
Make it out of this grind, 'fore I'm out of my mind
~"Bring Me Down," K.West, Late Registration

At times when I am having a particularly difficult day at work (which is often), I’d turn to the motivating sounds of Kanye West and dreamed of my spaceship.

You can't fathom my love dude
Lock yourself in a room doin' five beats a day for three summers
That's a different world like Kree Summers
I deserve to do these numbers
The kid that made that deserves that Maybach
So many records in my basement
I'm just waitin' on my spaceship, blaow
~"Spaceship," K,West, The College Dropout

In the month of March, I received a fleet of spaceships. One after another, admissions acceptance letters from the schools in which I applied, beamed into my e-mail account, while others, landed in my mail box.


I was accepted into the following journalism schools: Michigan State, Syracuse University, University of Maryland-College Park, and Columbia University. I am wait-listed at NYU and Northwestern.

Never in a million years did I image I would be admitted into all of those schools, ESPECIALLY Columbia. I needed one spaceship, and I got four. I am so excited.

Forgive me if I sound boastful, but I am a first generation college graduate. I went to a hood high school (of which I am proud of, with out my school I would not be where I am today), and then managed to go on CAL and complete.

And now, I get to attend the top journalism school in the country. Me, little ole me. I am so ready to go and learn everything I possibly can. I promised myself that if I got into a school, I will work hard and make the most of experience and by golly I will.

If you have a dream, MAKE IT HAPPEN, simply because you can.

Courtesy of VH1’s Tool Academy

I, Rabiah, am addicted to VH1 Reality Shows.

It all started with I Love New York when Chance and Tango were battling it out for the love of Miss Tiffany. Today, that love has since expanded as far as Rock of Love.

I don’t have cable so I am regulated to watching the shows online and at my leisure. On a lazy Sunday after noon you could find me watching a whole season or two of some show I missed while completing grad apps.

Recently, I’ve been watching VH1’s Tool Academy. Basically, it’s a show about helping jerks realize they’re jerks in order to save their relationships. I know it’s only been two shows but I think every woman in America should watch it. As much as it focuses on the men and their ability (to or lack there of) to transform, watching how the women react in each scenario is more interesting to me.

All of the problems with each relationship is open for the world to see, yet the women blinded. Some of the men are just not a good match. However, I can relate to being in love with someone and not being able have that person love me the same way. You know, loving a person for they could be rather than who they are.

But where is the breaking point?

When is the moment of clarity when a woman decides that they deserve more?

I toss and turn about telling a friend to leave a no good man, and having her fall on her face. Then again I am not God so I don’t know what’s in store.

Indulge me for half a second with your thoughts…

Thanks for reading !