We Nearly Lost Her

My best friend nearly died giving life to her healthy, happy daughter.

Millions of women give birth every single day without complications—but for Chelle, whoever’s above or us below had other plans.

She lost so much blood. Her brain swelled. She went unconscious. For one tumultuous week the doctors were unsure if she’d live, and even if she did she would suffer significant brain damage.

Of course, like the champ she is, she lived. But even as we speak she’s in intense physical therapy. She has to learn how to use her arms, hands, feet, and feed herself all over again. Her short-term goal was to see, hold and raise her baby.  Nearly a month after having her child, she finally was able to do so.

Can you imagine?

We’re talking about a 27-year-old vibrant black woman. She was voted intern of the year, she just completed her master’s.

She’s a woman, who was so excited about the next stage in her life. Bringing her daughter in this world, her love.

When I received the news my world was flipped upside down. Every sense of security I had vanished. I heard about things of this nature happening to others but rarely does it hit this close to home.

As soon as I could muscle up the money to purchase a plane ticket, I went to visit her in Los Angeles.

I just needed to be there. 

I thought I was going to lose her without being able to tell her how much I love her.

I needed her to know that I am always there, even when I am not. I was horrified at the thought of her daughter growing up and not knowing whom I am.

I spent three days visiting her, keeping her company, and enjoying those moments. Like old times, we laughed, exchanged gossip, and gave recent updates.

High blood pressure was the culprit behind all of Chelle's pain and suffering.

Chelle’s experience taught me one important lesson—we are not promised tomorrow.

Although the saying was drilled into me when I was younger, realizing my best friend was on the verge of leaving us young—etched it in my soul.

 Everyday I lived my life looking forward and rarely savoring the moments of today. Recently I decided I want to cherish my moments. 

Sometimes we take too much on. School, work, family, and relationships—should all be healthy.

This month I took the time to clean out my mental closet. Those who cause excess drama in my life I let them float on into the distance. I let other people’s problems be THEIR problems.

Many of us carry the weight of things we don’t even need to carry.  We worry about things we can’t control.  The remnants of such things show up in our health—we gain tons of weight, we lose tons of weight, and we experience anxiety attacks. Some of us get depressed, or easily agitated.

It’s not worth it.

There are beautiful things in life, live them.